How can you tell a baby lost it's voice? It doesn't scream when you staple it to a ceiling fan and turn it on.

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How do you make a baby cry ? Throw a brick at his face

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What did the child say after the priest touched him? Thank you for the ashes Father, have a blessed Lenten season.

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why did the boy and girl go under the covers together? because they were cold

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My aunt said slow and steady wins the race....... She died in a fire

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a korean man with no legs sits on a porch. He has no legs so it's considered standing

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Q: How do you make an mail man cry? A: Take his car and run over his family.

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How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

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It may be Stupid but its also Dumb. ~Patrick Star

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How do you make Barack Obama upset? Stab him.

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old people are like slinkies...they arent really good for anything but brings a smile to ur face when they're pushed down the stairs...just think about it ;)

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Yo' momma is so fat, that- Wait. Sorry. Too far?

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How did the blonde die drinking milk? She was severely lactose intolerant.

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Q:Whats the difference between Jews and Pizza? A: Jewish people are humans, and pizza is a food

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What's city is in New York New York City

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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why did the Mexican take $20, because he found it on the ground

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What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Ask me what my name is. What's your name. My name is Jeff.

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How to find if your overweight? Ask your friend to make a big clay volcano, out of baking soda and vinegar. While its erupting if you're too busy eatin five course dinner. FAT

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I can vote and I am equal to males in the work enviornment. That's what she said.

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Say this really fast. Ice Bank Mice Elf It'll take a while for dumbasses to understand.

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Hitler walks into a temple..... Oh wait he died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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