a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a man with a knife in his back? An ambulance

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats great about F***ing twenty one year olds? There's twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

One day in school two kids had a conversation. Susan: What do you want to do when your older? Oliver: I want to go to the moon. Susan: Oh. I went there last week. Oliver: Can you smell something. Susan: Haven't you ever been to Pennsylvania.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Rampage, on the streets of the poor. Secrets finally leaving, escaping, rummaging out from the land and sea of unforgiven people. A loud shatter erupts from the roaring streets filled with silence, the people are coming. Engulfing the city. Red, blue, orange and yellow. Explosives and gun fire and blood flowing down into the drains, mixing innocent blood with the impure water. Violence, detonating everywhere. I see fire everywhere. Once a family home now a lost memory which cannot be found. Everything is burning, life and love. The streets not painted with red. It's soothing the sidewalk. Hush now. A shadowy night. It's whispers reaches all corners of the earth... 'The war is over' Blue skies light up the back lanes, darkness retreating back under its box of everlasting mystery They fought a war We are fighting one too (first letter of each line + final 2 lines are the last two lines of the original poem etc)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are simple-minded creatures and perhaps there was some source of food on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Boy: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're accent sure sounds like it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Where does the girl with one leg work? Ihop

thumb_up thumb_down -8

B=boy G=girl B:hey i got a good nock nock joke but you have to start it G:okay nock nock B:whos there?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet? A: Apple

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you get an alien baby to sleep? Well, first you need to get an alien baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the cookie go to the doctors? It didn't because cookies are Inanimate and are incapable of mobility

thumb_up thumb_down -8

One time I walked into a fat kid..

thumb_up thumb_down -8

If life throws you melons, maybe you are hitting the melons.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you scare off a ghost? Tell him your ready for a commitment.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait i think i missed the joke, what?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is similar between a dog and a cat? They are both dogs except for the cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How much seamen does a gay guy have??? A whole butt load.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a lubia chin jew slave?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

roses are red, violets are blue i couldnt spend one night without you

thumb_up thumb_down -8

This is in Spanish when you're not looking.Just kidding, that's not possible. It's actually German.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We are here to inform you that your daughter has died in a drunk driving accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I bet I can say the the whole Greek alphabet faster than any other person in the world. The whole Greek alphabet faster than any other person in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops