Q:If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is here to hear it, will it make a noise A:That Philosopher probably had a lot of herbal tea in the morning

thumb_up thumb_down -13

HAVE A GOOD DAY. DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What happens when you sit in the middle of the road? A: You get hit by a car and die a horrible death as your family members mourn in the loss and remain sad forever.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

The blond sold her her car for gass money and then when to a car dealer and asked for a free car if she got drunk for him the car dealer said yes only if i can do what i want with you the blond said what do u want to do to me he said i want to throw u off a cilff the blond said ok

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what do you call a tall skiny kid with a very big ego autistic

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you define an unsatisfactory kitchen? It won't have a woman chained to the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A. Why did the man crash the car? B. Because the driver was a blind man with no arms, who happened to have a psychological problem affecting his brain's ability to detect movement, thus making the car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worst than realizing your mom is actually a transvestite? Simultaneously realizing this means you are adopted

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: How do you call a group of animals? A: Llama.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the president do for the people? ...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

"Guess what I was doing in my room last night with the door closed with my hand?" "Please don't say what I think you're going to say" "What? I was just cleaning my room."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Homonyms should be band.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Hitler and Jews become friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the frog die? He had AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Girl: That's pretty big. Boy: That's what she said. Woman: Yes, I enjoys large genitals.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: What would you do if i pushed you down the stairs A: I would suffer from serious head injuries thus filling you with guilt for performing such a deed.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A plane crashes in the wilderness on the border of Canada and the U.S. Where do they bury the survivors? I lied. There were none.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the little child orphan with no arms or legs get for christmas? CANCER and for his birthday A.I.D.S. R.I.P little orphan

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why does a man wake up every morning to do the same job over again? Because, wait... what the heck kind of a question is that?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Can I have... ...a beer." The bartender asks, "What's with the large pause?" To which the bear replies, "I have... ...a speech impediment."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Why did George Lopez walk into a Taco Bell? A: To purchase a 5-layer Gordita Burrito

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops