What do you get when you cross a helicopter, elephant, and a rhino? Heliphino

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A woman was at a family reunion and her husband's mother walked in. She has a chocolate allergy so the woman says the her husband,"I need more chocolate!"

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Why couldn't Lucy get her driver's license? Because she has Cerebral Palsy!

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What's yellow and shark infested? Shark infested banana pudding.

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New groundbreaking research has just revealed today that a complex sentence can be used to manipulate the human mind, so in this sentence somewhere is a psychological amemphism that subconsciously hypnotises the mind into doing something within the next five seconds, and if you read this sentence over and over again, you might just spot it!

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Why is it interesting to watch your mum shower? It's Not, its sick you pervert

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A patient goes to the doctor. The doctor says I have bad news and even worse news. The patient says "What's the bad news?" The doctor says "You only have 24 hours to live." The patient says "Oh my gosh what could possibly be worse than that?!" The doctor says "Well...we've been trying to contact you since yesterday..."

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Just found out that it doesn't work.

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How to have a cheap party in just 5 steps: 1. Buy 100 McDonald's burgers and give everyone food poisoning 2. Bring out that black serial killer's mask you've been working on. 3. Bring out that sharp knife. 4. Slit everyone's throats. 5. Dance.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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The WPGA tour

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Why was the man hanging from a tree? He got the Death Penalty

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what do you call the head-less man sitting on your porch? By what ever his name is!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How am I supposed to know?

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knock knock, Whos there ? ( runs away ) trololololololololol

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Roses are red violets are blue I can't rhyme fridge

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBO... nope bin laden

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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Why did Jimmy eat the apple? Because he was obese and needed to eat healthy because his doctor suggested it.

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why was the old man cold? ...WHY?

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What do you call a donkey on Christmas? a donkey.

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Scrub that muck off at once Hubert Cumberdale!

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Q: Why was jimmy's mom crying? A: Because her doctor said their were going to get rid of he cancer, 5 minutes later hey came back in and told her that he had made a mistake and that was for someone else, she was actually only had a month to live.

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Happy Monday!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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