What did one pile of dirt say to the other pile of dirt?? You're dirty

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What is worse than finding your parents dead? You being charged for the crime.

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Loner.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Two penguins are sitting in the bathtub, the first one says to the second one "pass the soap." The other penguin says," what do I look like a radio?"

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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Mama Bear and Papa Bear were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Bear a choice of which parent to live with. "Do you want to live with your mother?" the judge asks. "No! She beats me." answers the baby bear. "OK, then you can live with your father." says the judge. "No! He beats me too!" cries baby bear. So Baby Bear was placed in a foster home.

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I went to the bookstore to buy me a Where's Waldo book. I looked through the store and couldn't find it anywhere.... Well played waldo, well played.

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Q. What is small, ugly and severely asthmatic? A. My younger brother. Jimmy.

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Ginger woodpecker throbbing in the moonlight

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What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware River? Men, to the boats.

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what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

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what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall All the king's horses and all the king's men, went and made an omelette.

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angelosnyder is not gay

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A lion walks into petsmart and asks the cashier were the dog food is. The Cashier replies your a cat and the cat food is in isle 4 you pussy

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Why is it when birds fly in a "V" shape one side is longer? There's more birds on that side.

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Oh na na not today Oh na na maybe tommrow

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Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.. Q: Why didn't she have any arms? A: 50. Cal... Q: Wait where'd she go? A: I don't know there's a helicopter in my scop- wait what the f**k is going on?.... TO: CoD 4 Players -Ap

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Whats the differance between a blond and a rock? I don't know. I can't think of any.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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