How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Who is it?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If there are four gay men that come into a bar and need to sit down when all you have is one stool; what do you do? Get three more stools.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red Violets are blue I like your mom Give me some glue

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo momma so pretty,she gets a lot of compliments.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A lady walks into her bedroom and sees her boy friend having sex with another girl. She hears the phone ring and a voice says "your grandma died".

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man with Down's Syndrome walks into bar. Bartender asks, "why the long face?"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man on a plane convened his stupid flyer that instead of who in knock-knock jokes it what were, he thought it would funny. Later it really paid off, as they fly very close over water he says "knock knock" "whose there" " Captain Neverlands" "Captain Neverlands wh-...were" "Captain Neverlands IN WATER YOU DUMMY!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I america you read books. But in Soviet Russa, Books read YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human being and one is an inanimate object that people enjoy sitting on.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit. What's worse than a dead baby in a clown suit? Ten dead babies in a trash-can. What's worse than ten dead babies in a trash-can? One dead babie in ten trash-cans.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: How do you keep a carnival fish for more than a week? A: Place it in formaldehyde when you get home

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Here's a little diddy I wrote for One Direction: Now One Direction, don't forget that we all know About the antics that you pull at your own live shows Like you take your own lyrics and give 'em a swerve Now they either make no sense or make you sound like pervs And Liam, why you swiping cameras and phones? What you need a girl's number cause you're crusin alone? And another thing, it's a frickin spoon for God's sake What did this thing impale your puppy with a giant frickin stake? And so One Direction, we now all think That in about a year, y'all are gonna go N*SYNC and disappear cause N*SYNC isn't around any...aw you know!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo mama's so fat that she has a heart condition.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats long, hard, and full of semen? A submarine

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why didn't love legs cross the road because he had no balls

thumb_up thumb_down +1

ugvvvvvv

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did santa claus get the boy with cancer for christmas? Nothing. Santa is not real and thus incapable of granting christmas wishes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a man named Mark? Mark

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a sociopathic murderer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops