Harold Camping and the May 21st 2011 rapture.....

A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." and then the mushroom walks out.

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How do you define an unsatisfactory kitchen? It won't have a woman chained to the oven.

How do you know if your friend is dead? You shoot him in the face!

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey

What's worse than getting a flat tire on a date? getting one while rushing your dying grandfather to the hospital.

How do you give an 80 year old man a heart attack? Hold a gun to his head

What do you call this? A sentence in English.

- Do you want to hear a joke? - No. - Ok.

How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender. How do you get them out? Well you shouldn't. Leave the car in front of somebody that you hate's house.

What is a Mexicans favorite sport? Tennis.

Q: How do you call a group of animals? A: Llama.

Roses are red violents are blue I have 5 figures and the middle one is for you

knock knock whos there? orange orange who? orange you pissed off your wifes taking in the ass from another guy right now?

Knock, knock! Who's there?! Your Mom! Your Mom who? No really. Let me in.

What starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'? Porn....

So, how 'bout that airline food?

how do you confuse a blond? put them in a circle room and tell them to sit in the corner

what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

Why was everyone screaming bloody murder? Their home team won

Hellen Keller walks into a bar. Well, at least she thinks she did.

black people are white when i use night gogles

What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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MOAR??

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