Have you ever heard about the black man who got shot my a goat? Neither did I.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what do you call a mentally and physically obese man? nothing until you know or obtain his name

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the jew kill himself? He heard a raciest joke and went into a period of depresion causing him to lose all will to live.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the baseball coach say to his son? Nothing. He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a person without a heart? Not alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what did the big chimney say to the little chimney ?? your to young to smoke

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Johnny walked up to his teacher one day and asked her to explain to him how babies were made. She instead whispered back to him, "Let me show you". He declined, because he wasn't prepared to be a father.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Dude did you hear of that mexcican who made a succesful living? Yeah. Me too,

thumb_up thumb_down +7

"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man goes to a petting zoo. He sees a zookeeper wrestling a bear. The bear kills the zookeeper and escapes from it's cage. It promptly mauls the rest of the staff and visitors at the zoo until it is shot by local police.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby wearing a clown suit.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Y couldn't you stop the bowling ball? Because it was going down a hill.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A guy walks into a bar and doesn't buy a 12 pack of coke, pepsi is better but he didn't have enough money to buy either.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the dog say to the cat? I don't know actually

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the kid fall off the bike? Because he was paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because the Nazis were on the brink of losing the war and Berlin was shortly to be captured by Soviet forces.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Human: "Panda get off that slide! Your a panda, you don't understand gravity!" Panda: g=9.81 m/s squared. Human: Oh, I see, carry on.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the man jump in front of the car? He was clinically depressed, his wife left him and took the kids, he just lost his job. He thought he saw a 20 dollar bill in the street So he stopped to pick it up, not realizing a car was speeding toward him.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Justin Bieber.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the best Anti-Joke ever? I don't know, but it's NOT this one.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? When he first entered the world, Chicken was a lonely bird. Nobody else liked him. Not even his mother. He was small and scrawny, and whenever the farmer came to feed the pigs or shear the sheep, he would get scared and hide in between two pieces of wood. One day Chicken woke up and his family was gone. Although they had never loved him, his heart was tender, and he was desperately concerned for him. After hours of searching for them, he overheard Cow speaking to Horse: "It's a tragedy, really. They were such a happy family. But now their off to the land of KFC, forever lost in the sea of chicken wings. But Chicken was determined to change his family's fate. He escaped the barn and ran into the woods. There he traveled day by day, and at night he hid from the hungry wolves. Life in the forest was tough, but no tougher than the loss of loved ones, so he kept going. On and on and on, until the forest ended and the city began. It was a new world to Chicken. He had never seen so many different buildings and contraptions. His eyes had never before held the wonder of the majesty of such a strange place. After traveling through the dangerous alleys of the city, he finally found it: the terrible land of KFC. The place where humans' dreams begin, but chickens' end. The place of horror and death and unfairness. The place that summarized Chicken's whole life. He was here now. The only thing separating him from his family was a road. A road that was so small compared to his previous trials, so incomprehensibly tiny when placed Nextel to the gaping hole in his broken heart. So the chicken crossed the road. Then he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops