im typkiking wifrh myv troes. Sorry, i was typing with my toes.

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why was the boy sad? his bellybutton hurt

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If a tree falls in the forrest and a women hears it does it make a sound? Why is there a tree in the kitchen.

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What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

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What ever happened to the bartender that asked, "Why the long face?" He was punched hard on the face for asking a stupid cliche!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What is worse than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Obama

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Why did the boy commit scuicide? Because he was mentaly scared due to constant tormenting and teasing from his friends

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A man walks into his house only to find someone in the livingroom touching the stereo. He then goes up to his wife, and kisses her.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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Why do elephants paint there feet yellow? so they can hide in mustard bottles. Have you ever seen an elephant in a mustard bottle? exactly

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cement is grey, Shoes are myriad colors, but usually white, black, or brown, depending on their use, And I love you.

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whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

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If life gives you lemons, keep them because hey, free lemons

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What do you call a white man without a face? Dead. What do you call a black man without a head? Negger.

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What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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knock knock, Whos there ? ( runs away ) trololololololololol

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. What do you call a man who gets a check in the mail every month for doing nothing? A black man

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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Q. How do you blindfold a Chinese man? A. With a blindfold.

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Who is gay and sits next to me in my architecture class? The same Griffin Kid.

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I like cookies... GIVE ME ICE CREAM.

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How many kids with A.D.D. does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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