when there's trouble lurking in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call? The local authorities.

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so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

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The only time when white and black are together When I've just taken a shit! ?ttis

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Roses are red Violets are blue Flesh is green When the dead start to rise you're on my team

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A cat ran into the road...I hit it

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What is the difference between Madeleine McCan and a toaster? A toaster wasn't raped and murdered.

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it's goal was to get to the other side however unfortunately a giant gorilla picked up a car; threw it at a nearby building causing it to collapse; setting off a massive explosion causing all of the buildings on that side of the street to collapse. As the whole other side of the street was covered in rubble making it impossible for the chicken to get to the other side, so the chicken decided to turn around and go home.

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Boyfriend: Why are you so negative all the time? Girlfriend: I'm not! I'm positive! Boyfriend: No your not your arguing with me right now and you... Narrator: The girl takes the pregnancy test and shoves it in the guys mouth kicks him in the nuts and runs out the door.

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How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? ...get back in the kitchen, I'm hungry

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There was a big guy he was called Mac. So Mc Donalds turned him into a burger

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Rape

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4 gay guys walk into a bar but there is only one bar stool, where do they sit? They go to a different bar

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I'm attracted to you like the earth is attracted to the sun. With a force that is inversely proportional to the distance squared.

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How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side

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one day a boy was in his bed he woke up and stepped on his carpet,he then got out a bowl and some breakfast, 23 minutes later the boy rode to school on his bike and parked it in a bike room, he then sat down at his seat and pulled out his history book and waited for Mr Jonty Nicholls to finish his coffee so he could learn about hitler.

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A man walks into a bar, Esept it wasn't a bar and he was running.

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Why do I hate food? I don't.

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Carol never wore her safety goggles. Neither did Hellen Keller.

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What's brown and furry on the outside, soft moist and tastes good on the inside, begins with "C" and ends with "T", and has a "U" and an "N" in it? A coconut.

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what do u call a kid at school a school kid and i have enough of these anti jokes they are not funny

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I grunt when I poop.

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test

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops