Roses are red, I'm tired... I think I'll lie down now

Dr. Dick Howard Long visits a friend in England. Arriving at his friend's house, he knocked at the door. A butler then lets him in and asks, "Sir, would you like to wait while the Master bathes?" The doctor then replies, "Sure thing, I'll wait until he's done."

Want to know whats funnier than 24? 25

why was the frog sad..... because it had a science lesson with the year 10s about the insides of animals

How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman

horses are burgers now ive got the flu watch out tescos because im gonna sue

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. The man leaves in a hurry, to cook for his family.

Q.How many dinosaur species can jump as high as a house? A.All of them, houses can't jump

What do you call a black girl scout? A brownie

How do you do to stop a baby who is circling? You nail his other feet.

Roses are black, Violets are too. I'm colourblind. Stop laughing.

Knock knock Who's there Fookie Fookie Who? Fook you too

whats wrose than slipping on a banana? Getting Shot in the face.

Can i have a Ice Cream Kuhn?

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Roses are red, Violoets are blue, I accidentally shat my pants. Brb

A man walked into a bar owch

A tree falls in the woods. A deaf boy, who had been frolicking through the forest, is struck down by the tree. He dies. His parents are ridden with grief for years, until finally the father commits suicide. The mother soon remarried and had two more children. Both died before the age of 15. She was a horrible mother.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The farm was sold and he had no other place to go.

Waseem is a hard worker.

Why do Christian protest against gay marriage? They protest because they believe gay marriage is a sin.

Why is this room orange? Because I painted it orange. You didn't paint it; my mom painted it.

Why did the chicken cross the road... so people could keep asking that question for 4000 years

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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