Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Several occupants leave as they realise the danger of the large animal.

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Jesse is so fat that Roy is jealous of his big ass tits

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knock knock who's there BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! who OPEN THE DOOR ITS THE POLICE

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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A woman was in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband. Shortly after she brings the sandwich to him and he thanks her seeing as his disabled legs prevent him from walking to the kitchen and making one himself. His wife later heads to her job as a firefighter.

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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Two muffins were in the oven...They were taken out after about 40 minutes, and then enjoyed by all.

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Your momma is so dumb she has to have weekly tutoring to help understand finding the value of x in an equation.

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How do you kill off a zombie apocalypse? Laser vision

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Wanna hear a bathroom joke? YOU TRYIN' TO KILL US?!?

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Roses are red, I'm tired... I think I'll lie down now

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There once were 2 cowboys who were lost on a dusty trail. Later on they found their way out and are now doing very successful

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He's dead now.

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I'd like to make this joke funnier but I can't. It's stupid. I don't even like it.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I dont know, you ask it.

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What is the least racist animal? A panda. It's black, white and Asian.

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One day a priest walked into a prison to bring lost souls to the Lord.....Not his best idea.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, and I'm blind .

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What's the difference between a jew and a jew? They both died in the gas chamber.

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What does the cookie monster and the blue man group have in common? They are both homosexually active

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman notices this rather humorous cliche and proceeds to point it out, laughs are shared by all.

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why did corey cross the road? the green man flashed.

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Whats the quickest way to get famous? kill the president

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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