Why did the girl drown? She had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

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Donald Trump

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Your mama's so fat, that it's ruined her self-esteem.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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Roeses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, My Name Is Dave, Microwave

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What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating.

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? Get on the ship.

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Why did the man walk into the grocery store? To provide an alibi for his identical twin who was committing 1st degree murder at the time.

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What do you call a cow after an earthquake? Dead. The barn collapsed on top of it.

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An African-American man calls KFC. An employee answers. "Thank you for calling KFC." The man replies, "I'm sorry, I must have dialed the wrong number."

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An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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a man walks into a bar the bar tender says why the long face? i just walked into a bar

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There once was a man who couldn't finish any sente

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what did the clock say to the other clock? .. were both lawyers!

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What do you call a kid with cancer? screwed

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a preist sees a rabbi on the street while taking a walk. he says hi and proceeds to have a nice conversation as they are good friends despite their religous differences

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how do you burn a lot of calories? set a fat kid on fire

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If you were in a room with Osama bin Laden, Hitler, and a black guy and you had two bullets, who would you shoot? Personally, I'm a peaceful person. I'd let Hitler figure it out.

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What is the difference between a mexican and a bench? One is living, one is not.

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What is big, grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb lady name her kid? Sebastion.

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what is a present you would give a werewolves? I said... OBAMA!!! tee hee

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What happens when a scientist tells you a lie? It's not true.

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Donkey lips

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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