What did the man with the gun say to the man without the gun? I have a gun

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than a stain on your carpet? Two stains on your carpet

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's a pirates favorite element the periodic table? Gold.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&Ms factory? Because she slapped the boss when he made a pass at her. Afterwhich she reported the incident to her Union and the boss was fired for Sexual Harassment. She was then rehired with a substantial increase in salary.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do JFK, plato, and a dead penguin have in common? theyre all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the best part of a family reunion? The sodomy.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the difference between a deer and a child in africa? Why does it matter? They're both being hunted.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock Who's there? Not you

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the coefficient of friction's favourite band? MU-se. What does the coefficient of friction go to see at weekends? MU-seums. What is the coefficient of friction's favourite hobby? Masturbating violently with a noose around his neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did 16-year-old girl scream in the basement? She was being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Racial equality.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Today i started to think lucas was homosexuaI.. I am scared

thumb_up thumb_down +8

One fish... Two fish... Red fish... I have AIDs

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You Wanna hear an anti joke? Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

yo mama so ugly she made a happy meal frown.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you stop a rhino from charging? Kill it

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the chicken cross the road? I dont know, you ask it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whos gay rusty kohlen hit him up on facebook!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why is my penis so damn small? Cause the good lord made me that way

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock Who's there? To To who? No, Sir, it is "to whom"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops