Why did the maid have to clean feces off the wall? Because I shit cannoned it.

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What do you call a polar bear in the desert? Bobby Marksson.

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How did the boyfriend react when the girlfriend told him she was pregnant? Nothing.. He already changed his number and packed up his things and moved out of the state

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What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

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Where do snowmen keep their money? Snowmen don't have money

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How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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Why is paper white? Cause that's how they make paper.

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What did the man with Alzheimer's get for Christmas? Happy New Year!

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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Whats green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? A girl scout that got hit by a car

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Why was six afraid of seven? because seven had diarrhea

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? 23

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Why did the irishman go to the bar? because he was a designated driver and was picking up his friend.

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Your mother is so fat, that she was instructed by her doctor to go on a low carbohydrate, high protein diet to reduce the risk of heart disease later in life.

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Q:Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? A:The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythological creatures.

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A niggarette

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why did u fart to loud? because you butt said so

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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what has four wheels and opens using a key? -a trunk on wheels

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Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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When someone throws a rock at you What do you say? A:Oww

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Why was the dog hairless? I lied, it was a pig.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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