why did the mexican choose to work as a landscaper instead of at taco bell? landscaping pays much better and was a more practical decision in this economy to support his family of 13.

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A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f*** are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a**!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

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why did the chicken cross the road?... it actually didn't

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Why did the jew kill himself? He heard a raciest joke and went into a period of depresion causing him to lose all will to live.

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On monday morning the doctor walked into a patient's room, then he walked out after a quick check up.

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Q. What time is your appointment with the Chinese dentist? A. 20 past 4

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a pack of wolverines and decided the best idea was to run away, and this decision just happened to involve him crossing a road.

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? depends how big the car is!

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What do you get when you cross your eyes? A headache.

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A gay man walks out of his bedroom, rubbing his ass in pain. He says, "I hate it when I slip and fall in the shower."

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What did Helen Keller say to Michael Jordon before she died? Nothing...

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Yo mama is so fat, she eats three times the normal amount of calories one should eat in a single day. This resulted in her early demise, to which you mourned for numerous months before accepting the fact that she was gone.

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Why couldn't the Chinese women see... It's because she just got into a terrible car accident and suffered a rental detachment in both eyes. Follow up question, why was the Chinese women even allowed to drive?

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I have suicidal thoughts

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A blonde walks into a drycleaning store 2 pick up her clothes and as she walks out the empoyee says cum again and the blonde says shut up it was toothpast this time!!!!

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Your grandma's cookies.

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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hey! did u just fall??? ..no..gravity wanted a hug.!

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How many chairs does it take to screw a lightbulb? One, if you have enough lube.

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How to confuse a dumbass: see previous post.

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What does a shortstop do when the ball is by third base? He leaves the field to go to the hospital, his little sister just had a heart attack.

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What happened when a Black man ran into a white supremacist? They exchanged insurance information

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Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" Of course not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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