Your mother is so fat.... I am happy to see her join our exercise group.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It is actually not a good idea to say "who's there" to the random person outside. The man could be a robber or a murderer, and will realize a person is inside. He could bomb the door down and do anything to kill you. You should look through the window first, or through the little peep hole. If the person outside is an acquaintance, then you can respond. However it is best to not reply and leave the stranger alone. Safety is key to living a happy joyful life.

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What did the skinny man say to the fat woman. That sucks.

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A doctor walks into a bar, he stumbles backwards as he is taking his coat off, and the barman chuckles.

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Why can't the children hug his father? Because his father is dead.

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Two Christians are on their way to church. They stay for prayers and have a lovely lunch.

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what does a granny look best in? 1950

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a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar they are good friends and enjoy alcoholic beverages.

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Why did the Jew post a free link on his Facebook wall? Because it is funny and he hoped his friends would like it.

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What did the two best friends do before the asteroid hit the Earth? They hugged each other goodbye.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar and gets shot.

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Why was the girl sad on her Birthday? She found out she was adopted.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumbty took a great fall Because he was terribly intoxicated And failed to properly balance himself.

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Knock knock ... *No ones home*

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Hey! Where is my tracker?

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Why was the blond stupid? She wasnt, its just that everyone loves stereotypes

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is an overused joke on a kid's cartoon. Thank me later.

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My brownie is so warm and squishy. You know what else is warm and squishy? Freshly killed babyies

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Why are they called waiters? Because you got to wait for them for a fucking long time. Why do they call you a patient. Just so you wont get impatient, if you do you are no longer a patient and they will ignore you.

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Why did Ian pass his CRB check? Because he committed his crimes on holiday

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why did the little girl eat grapes? because she felt like it.

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What is blue and flies across the room? A baby with a punctured lung.

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The world ends and everyone dies exept for a laywer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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