Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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The snake rides the bicycle in the forest, the rabbit sees this, and says "hey snake, you don't have legs" "oh damn" replies the snake and eats the rabbit because of the insolence

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head under water until water gets into her lungs and she cant breathe.

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Why can't Amy Winehouse sing? She's dead.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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why'd the chicken cross the road? he didn't what kind of farmer lets their chickens out on the streets, they get crunk you know

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What's Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin'

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What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says what do you want? the duck says nothing cause ducks can't talk

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What happens when you throw a midget off of a tall building? It dies and the people below get midget on them

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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What's the difference between a piece of chicken and a black guy? They were both once alive and innocent, I lied about the black guy.

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Why can't helen Keller read? She's dead.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it most likely saw a shiny object and wanted to play with it. Luckily there was no cars passing at the time but the parents should be more careful to keep thier child in sight and away from peril. That and the baby found a small piece of glass that could be harmful to it....

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Why was't the Elephant allowed on the Airplane? He didn't have a boarding pass

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If the opposite of Pro is Con, whats the opposite of progress?

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Yo Mama is so white, people call her caucasian.

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How do you get a little kid out of a tree Throw a jar of foreskin at him

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knock knock who's there your family just died your family just died who? -.-

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politically correct!

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Your mom is so fat, that she has unsightly stretch marks.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Lettuce. THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! AAAAHHHH!

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Like a bit of a cozy fight or something.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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