What did Hitler get for Christmas? Some shoelaces for his shoes so he could tie his little knotsies.

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A man walks into a bar. As he walks in, numerous people turn their heads in awe. Is it... it can't be. It's Paul McCartney, the famous musician! "Oh - I'm not Paul McCartney". The man then said. "I just look a lot like him. Sorry." "Awww. That's a shame." said John Lennon, disappointed.

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An Asian man, a black man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They all buy the same drink, are charged the same price and say " We are all equal! " They then continue on with their days normaly.

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What is a chair?

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What did the elephant say to the other elephant? We're both elephants!

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What do you do if you see a man on the street with a pineapple up his bum? Take him to the hospital to have the pineapple removed professionally. It could be potentially dangerous for his health.

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon. It burnt up on re-entry

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Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

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Q: What's worse than finding 1 worm in your apple? A: Finding 2 worms in your apple Q: What's worse than finding 2 worms in your apple? A: The Holocaust Q: What's worse than the Holocaust? A: Finding 3 worms in your apple!

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I'd tell you a joke about Uganda but it wouldn't be worth it as it probably would keep a low score and possibly even get deleted for staying a week with a negative rating, for a number of reasons including that it isn't particularly funny, it was copied from another website and it is slightly racist. Taking into account what most people look for in a joke, it doesn't necessarily meet their needs and would more than likely fall into a lame category. And for that reason I have not submitted it.

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Whats worse than losing your entire family in a car accident? Luikimia

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Friend: Hey dude, you wanna come to my house after school and do some Meth? Other Friend: Nah I dont wanna get scabs all over my skin, disgusting teeth, and im not in the mood for dying early. Im good here.

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What's worse than being named SAID? Having AIDS.. And getting a bee sting - it hurts like ****!

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Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A. From a catalogue.

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what did one tree say to the other spruce up actually nothing because trees can't talk

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -John. -Hey John, come on in.

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What's the difference between 9/11 and Jenga? The World Trade Center wasn't ruined by clumsiness.

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How many black teachers does it take to figure out 10 x 30. only one shes a very respected teacher

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What do you call a black man called Jermaine? Jermaine!

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What did the bowl of cereal say? Can I have some milk?

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Sally sold seashells by the seashore but she didnt make any money of course. seashells on the shore can be picked up off the beach for free

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If a bear was mad he would be beary angry.

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A horse walked into a bar and ordered a drink. It was nothing out of the ordinary because the Everett-Wheeler interpretation of quantum mechanics is correct and he lived in a parallel universe in which the roles of humans and horses are reversed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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