What's black and blue and hates sex? The 8 year old in my trunk

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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What do you get when you cross Winter Squash, Beets, Ham, Coffee, Spinach, Hexamine, Cadmium, Detergent, and some love? A bowl full of crap.

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kieran scott peels his off his foreskin while he watches hentai porn then he eats it afterwards, he is also on roids

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Why didn't Superman save anyone on September 11? He was in a wheelchair.

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What do squirrels and Justin bieber have in common? Everything.

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What's the longest word in the English language? Tuna. (I lied about it being the longest word in the language.)

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what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

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A man walks outside and walks back in. Why? Because it was raining purple unicorns and he felt the need to go back inside.

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What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? That boy that dropped a perfectly good ice cream cone from a road accident involving a bus due to lack of road safety awareness Oh yeah, and I guess the fact that he probably died or was injured for life is pretty bad too

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A man went to the doctor. He had experienced some strong abdominal pain. The doctor looked at him and ordered some tests to be done. He had a kidney stone. The day after he passed the stone, he got ran over by a bus. The man's name was Bob.

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Imagine a scenario Add a Rhubarb Crumble into your scenario Add your mother and father sitting together watching the news in your scenario. Your scenario should take place in an old people's home Add an Olympic athlete doing the splits into your scenario If there were any crane-flies in your scenario, be sure to subtract them at once. Divide your scenario by two. Your scenario should now be a mental image of flying horses and a hippopotamus eating a large salmon mousse. There will be a pig tied to a pair of sunglasses.

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Knock Knock. In about 10 seconds you'll be trespassing on my property, I suggest you leave immediately. Your suppose to say who's there.

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So this beautiful woman goes to see her doctor and says "Doctor i think i have a fever." the doctor replies "I think I've got just what you need. open your mouth." The woman opened her mouth and the doctor gave her some Advil "This should help your fever. that will be $300." in shock the woman said "these prices are to high."

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If strippers are exotic dancers then drug dealers are to exotic pharmacists.

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guess what chicken butt

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So a blond is rowing a boat in the middle of the field. It turns out she was insane and was trying to escape from the sanitarium.

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What do you call a dumb blonde with no hair? You don't, since there is no way of knowing that she is blonde.

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4/20 is a holiday just like Christmas.. I lied you just get baked

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Womens rights

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What's the difference between Elisabeth Fritzl and Pope John Paul II? Pope John Paul II wasn't imprisoned and raped continuously over a 24 year period in a horrific act of cruelty by his father

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There are two types of people in this world: Those who can finish lists. and

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John: Hey Pablo why are you standing outside Home Depot. Pablo: Because I work here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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