On the dora show when they asked where the Monster was why did the arrow point left instead of right?? Because it was scared

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's worse then an adult dying A baby dying

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the redneck say about his missing tractor? Where's my tators.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

jumping jelly beans theirs a snake in my booties,, ooooooo har har ya ya youve got that one thing baby peace love and applesauce baby!!!!1

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call the worst band ever? Nickelback.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A man walks into a bar. Now he needs stitches on his forehead because he was walking pretty fast

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A Jewish man, black guy, and asian all walk into a bar. Can you guess which one got arrested? That's right, the criminal

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What happens when you walk around with a kick me sign on your back? you get punched in the face. How are you supposed to know it says kick, you cant see your own back.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What does a joke and an anti-joke have in common? Nothing, since "anti-" refers to the opposite of the word that it is modifying.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock Knock Who's There Your doctor... You have Aids

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Hitler: honey what's for dinner? Hitlers wife: a jewwwsyy steak

thumb_up thumb_down -29

goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, im scared of toasters

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you get 4 Jews in a car? Open the door and tell them politely to get in.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did Jimmy fall out of the tree. Cause' I shot him.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What rhymes with Hitler? Walt Disney.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did a vampire climb Mount Everest in the middle of the night on his birthday in September?

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q.) What did the young child of a highly idiosyncratic family do when he heard the fire-alarm going off unexpectedly in his house? A.) He started to panic since he hadn't received any portions of formal insturction in the art of, "Stop, drop and roll", prior to the moment of the lamentable catastrophe. I think that we should blame his parents/teachers immediately... *Sigh*

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Whats the next Line? YAH YAH YAH YAH YAH....

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you get a black man to run? Ask him how his day has been, catch up on some memories of your time at school together, then challenge him to a foot race.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you say to a black guy who is holding a gun to your head? Nothing. He is holding a gun to your head.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the girl without arms get for her birthday? A pair of gloves.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops