A father teaches his son to ride a bike. Father: Don't stop or you'll fall. Son: Ok, dad. They have a nice time,

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What do you call a feline attempting surgery? A catastrophe, because they aren't very good surgeons.

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your mama is so greasy she should go take a bath

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car, Robin.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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What did the sign say? It said slow down

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God has lived since the eternal eternity right? And one day he said let there be light? NO WONDER HE IS SUCH A NEEDY GREEDY EVIL FUCK! HOW WOULD YOU FEEL AFTER AEONS ENDLESS IN TOTAL DARKNESS? Moral: It is time for the prince, to stand up as the emperor, then no one shall doubt the power of the moral man.

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Whats worse to see 100 dead babies on the bed of a truck or 100 fake babies falling directly from the empire state building... I don't know I have never seen either but if you could tell me if you saw it maybe i can use my imaination!!!

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What hurts worse than a papercut? Divorce.

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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Pick up lines: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're wearing a university of Tennessee sweatshirt. If I could rearrange the alphabet to put 'U' and 'I' together, I would not do it because I would have to reorganize all of my alphabetized files. Is it hot in here to you or am I experiencing early signs of a stroke?

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What did the rat say to the snake when it ate it. Nothing for the rat is a rat and there for can not communicate through talk to the snake nor could it survive as the snake's digestive system disintegrated it in a matter of minutes.

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Stephen Hawkings viewed porn as a child

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An Indian child is born with three arms. After being ridiculed his whole life he kills himself at age 19.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven stabbed his mother.

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Why'd the duck cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The duck.

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Friends are like potatoes, If you eat them, they will die.

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What did the blond do on October 12th? Get hit by a bus

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Q. Whats green jumps up and down and then red? A.A frog in a mixer

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Finn Davidson is cool, no he's not, yes he is

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Whats 10 times worse than a war? Ten wars.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: I'm a horse. We have long faces.

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What is it called when you kill a gay man? Homocide

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How much wood could the woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A relatively small amount compared to the amount of trees in the world.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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