full house

I hate it when people talk about concentration camps... my grandad died in one He fell off the guard tower

Knock knock Who's there This is the police, open the door. I don't know anybody by that name

A black man found chicken on the floor. He ate it.

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

What do you call a man with a gun? An accident waiting to happen.

Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he found a crosswalk with a walk symbol near his destination.

(SPOILER ALERT) The following are a few punchlines: "I didn't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck!" "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks!" "Hold on buddy, I'm about to save you $10,000" "To get to the other side!" "Because 7, 8, 9!" "She had no arms!" "A fridge!" "I don't have Ferrari in my garage!" "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go!" "And if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college!" "It was stapled to the chicken!" "I proved it to him." "The holocaust" "Red paint" "A stick." "I wished for a big orange head." "No." "A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being." "A pilot." "The papa tomato steps on him and says ketchup." "You left your engine running!" "That's what she said." "TV watches you!" "I think so Brain, but where will we get that many cucumbers at this time of night?" "Rectum? Damn near killed him!" "One but it takes two episodes and the bald guy dies."

Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Lack of experience.

Do you want to hear a joke?!?!?!?!?!?! A happy orphan

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm random but can still rhyme Hatsune Miku

What's worse than stubbing your toe? Dyeing of cancer.

Your all fags

How do you get a fat man to drop a brownie? Make fun of him until he kills himself, and then drops the brownie.

A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender stands speechless due to the ridiculousness of the situation -Tag

whats the difference between a black guy and and an asian person... who cares kill them both

An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

Why was a group of children being driven away by a black man? Michael was the students bus driver, he was taking them to the zoo.

This is not an anti joke.

What did the chair say when someone sat on it? Nothing. The person's butt covered the chair's mouth.

What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

What would you call the fatty cranial mass surrounding a malignant tumor? Ted Kennedy's Head.

Roses are orange Violets are grey I love penguins Damn Jews

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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