How many people with Alzheimers does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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you will now laugh.

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Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

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What's large, green, and pissed off? The dumpster out back

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What's the difference between basketball and an elephant? One's a sport and one's a large African animal.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was crudely stapled to another chicken who insisted on doing so.

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In that case you are probably a bit of an outcast as most girls of your beauty are, you know, you are that kind of girl that feels weird because when she got/gets on the buss EVERYONE stares at her, but nobody dares to say anything, right? And when you are hanging out for a drink or something guys stare at you, and go like "nah" which means "Nah she is too good to want me" and starts hitting on your friends instead. Oh and you also get a lot of rude comments from guys "auto disqualifying themselves" like using complements they know will backfire like "Hey wanna fuck sugart1ts? They do this so they can go home with their ego intact thinking "Hey I was tough enough to hit on her, but she turned out to be a bitch! So does any of this sound familiar?

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Why did Sally Drop here ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock Knock? *who's there* Not Sally.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their firstborn child.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

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What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What do Ethiopians do at night? Starve

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You know whats worse than getting punched in the face? Getting kicked in the balls.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely to get to a source of food or escape a predator.

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One day a man was out fishing in the lake. Suddenly, there was a huge fish pulling his fishing pole so hard it almost broke. Luckily, he managed to pull the fish into his boat. It was the biggest fish he had ever caught and he brought it home for his family to see. They were all very proud.

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Why did the chicken kill himself? Because he was bullied as a child and is now suicidal

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dog

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who steals more than a black person?, a pirate.

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What's the best way to get gum out of your hair? Cancer

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You were adopted and I couldn't think of a good way to tell you...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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