Why do people eat babies? Because they're delicious.

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Have you ever seen that really famous blind man's house? Neither has he.

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Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she fell out the window and landed in soot.

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How do you make an electrician fall over? You hit him hard with a lamp

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mom's a whore.

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Hello, I'm David and I just stabbed my aunt in the eye. Just kidding, my name isn't David. That was an Aunt Eye(anti) joke.

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holy F**k someone call an ambulance!

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1 fish 2 fish red fish wait why is the fish red , oh I forgot I killed it

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(approach girl) How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to fit into the same dress as you

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call me a bitch You're a bitch Only bitches do what they are told!

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait; it would be quite unsanitary to talk about my genitals in front of you.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is prevalent.

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knock knock who's there Alec Baldwin I just raped your children ..........

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What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

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knock, knock... no one replies and it becomes obvious that no one is in the house.

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What's brown and sticky? Shit

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what's the difference between two pieces of bacon and a blond girl? The blond girl is a human and it's against the law to eat her.

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whats worse than having your sextape leaked to the media? not being a kardashian when it happens.

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A giant meteor will hit the earth tomorrow.What do you do? Tell everyone I told you so.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Shit a brick.

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What's black, brown and red? My dog as a serial killer

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A man walks into a bar. He is then rushed to the emergency room for severe blunt force trauma to the head and multiple cranial fractures. After years of mental therapy the man re-gains full cerebral capabilities and is extremely cautious to keep an eye out for potentially dangerous bars that present a threat to his fragile reconstructed skull.

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A guy walks into the bar and orders a coke with some ice and some peanuts. It cost a total of $4.00 plus tax. He gave the bartender $5.00 and told him to keep the change. He drank the soda pop and burped loudly and left the bar and forgot his peanuts.

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What'sucks and white Jackson

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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