What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What do you call a really old Cowboy? A senior citizen with a brain tumor.

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Q: whats a bunny's favorite music genre A: smooth jazz

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Little Johnny was always bullied at school. Everyday he would get picked on by the same kid, Todd. Todd was a red-headed bully with no discipline. Johnny one day went home and started crying. His father asked the little boy, "Jonny why are you crying?" John replied, "I keep getting bullied". His father stood up and told him, "You must become a big man and step up to him and tell him how you feel. It will surprise him and he will then back off. It always works." Johnny then felt inspired. Later that night he started practicing what he will say in the mirror. By the next morning he felt like he was ready. Johnny was confident about himself for once. He walked up to Todd and told him, "I'm tired of your bullying and next time you will regret it!!". Todd looked surprised and had his jaw opened. Todd then said, "I'm sorry Johnny I didn't know you felt that way." Johnny looked confused. "Here come with me and I'll buy us ice cream". When they went to go get ice cream, Todd brutally stabbed Johnny until he was losing blood and repeatedly raped his dead body.

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How do you make a Jew cry? You kill all of their friends and family members.

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What is worse than the holocaust? World War III.

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Roses are red I have a phone,no texts me am forever alone~The Jokers

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Why was the Mexican sleeping? He wishes to decrease his risk of motor vehicle accidents.

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What happens when you throw a green stone into the red sea? It gets wet.

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What did the fat girl say to the good looking guy? Nothing. She didn't have the self-confidence to go up to him.

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Guess what I saw today? Everything I looked at.

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Why can't you fly? Cause Ruddell says so.

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

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Hey we just met And this is crazy But my name's Kony And I stole your baby

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A dyslexic paraplegic walks into a bra

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What did paul say to bill? "Hi, I'm Paul"

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Shit I'm bleeding.

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What's better than winning the paraplegic Olympics? Walking.

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raisin boogers

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Man 1: Nock-nock Man 2: Please leave my place of residence

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why was the pen lonely? because it didn't have a pen pall

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Who is blue and smells like green paint? Matt Daly

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Gun Control

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Whats worse than getting stabbed in nuts? A retarded baby that survived the abortion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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