Why is Steven so gay? Because hes actually Richard Simmons

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What's the difference between God and Kanye West? God doesn't think he's Kanye West.

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Why did Johnny lose the race he got jawed by a pack of chimpanzees

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You and your parents are going to die today

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What do you call 100 black people at the bottom of the ocean? An unfortunate tragedy and astonishingly ironic curcumstance.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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What did Jennifer get in her college exam? She got a C minus

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Trees are like friends. They both fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

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Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

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You know why Michael J Fox can dance like it's 1999? because he's a really good dancer.

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miley cyrus

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What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

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The knocking didn’t cease. It grew harder as the voice grew louder. “Let me in! Let me in! LET ME IN!” The knocking grew so fierce it could have shattered the door. Tears leaked from her eyes. “What do I do,” she thought “should I open the door?” The knocking was more than she could bear. “I know you’re in there, Kat.” it said. Her stomach twisted, her breath caught in her throat, and tears now streamed down her face. “Go away!” she shouted finally. “Let me in!” it screamed in response. “Leave me alone!” she cried. The voice and the knocking echoed in her head, making her more nauseous than before. Reaching for the lock hesitantly, she sucked up her tears and held her breath, unlocking the door and throwing it open. Nothing was there. The tree stood in the yard unmoving, no wind. Nothing. She shut the door, shaking in fear. With the click of the lock, the room grew cold. Goose-bumps covered her skin. “Thank you for letting me in.” a voice whispered behind her.

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What's green has eight legs, and would kill you of it fell on you from the top of a tree? A Billiard table

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Q: What did the latino kid get for christmas? A; Nothing because he died two days before

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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Two Iranians walk into an airport They show their passports and proceed to fly to their home in Minnesota

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Suzie hates cancer, Her granny got killed by a driver that suffered from it

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A: We're eating you for breakfast today. B: Thank you, I'll have my arm.

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What's a worse feeling than an upset stomach? Seeing a child getting molested and not saying anything.

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how do you make a cat blink? strike him with a hammer.

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Whats Black and White and Red all over? A white boy who just got jumped, with sever bruises left lying in a pool of his own blood.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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