Q. How many jews can you fit in a car? A. depending on the car size and make, oh and the size of the ash tray is also important

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You know your in deep shit when you hit somebody in the head with a 2 by 4 and they dont go down.

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why did the girl cross the road? to commit suicide

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Why didnt your daughter come home? The door was locked

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John: Hey Pablo why are you standing outside Home Depot. Pablo: Because I work here.

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there is a woman named shannen. she is happily married and has children.

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What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

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GINGER PEOPLE

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A man walked into a bar. Ow!

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whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer

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Whats worse then a hundred dead babies? One trying to eat its way out.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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When a blonde entered a bar, she ordered a something that was a double-entendre. The bartender understood what she was trying to say, gave her her order whatever alcohol she happened to consume, and the blonde woman could not have been more courteous.

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How do you count all the jews in a village? The United States Census Bureau usually has reliable data so I would start there

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What's green and red and goes a hundred miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

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Yo mamma's so stupid she sits on the TV and watches the couch. :) By Drew Bolton

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A man walks into the bar with his parrot, but sadly the parrot was attacked ferociously by a flock of seagulls and it died.

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What did the toilet say when I pooped in it Nothing I just crapped in it

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It's like they always say, you get what you pay for. Unless your a woman, then you get what other men pay for.

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What did Spiderman do when he saw a crime taking place? He stopped it

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why did matt daly shit his pants? he had downs

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What's red and invisible? We don't know that it's red.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Seeing your mom dance

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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