A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Why did the chicken cross the road To get to your house Knock knock: whos there? The chicken duh

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Knock,knock whose there? The pizza delivery guy the pizza delivery guy who the pizza delivery guy who didnt give you your pizza

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What did Adam say when he saw Eve with just a fig leaf? The recipe said three frikkin figs.what the hell am I going to do with a fig leaf, you better get back in there, and hurry because I'm double parked. I was referring to Eastend married couple Adam and Eve Turner, in case there was any confusion.

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When life throws you knives, you're probably dead

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a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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Why was the kid crying? Cause he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everyone. - Blake Woodman

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What's big, brown, and full of crap? A septic tank.

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What does 2 + 2 equal? 4

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Q: What do you call a white guy cooking a dinner? A: A chef

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Why can't vegetarians eat mushrooms because I can't urinate over a scotch bonnet :/

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Why wasn't the turkey hungry on thanksgiving? Because it was dead!

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What did the little boy order at Burger King? He ordered a burger and wiped his booger on the counter.

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what do dead babies and turkeys have in common? you eat them on ocasions

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Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

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What did the alcoholic say to his priest? I'm Drunk. The priest says "Your drunk go home". He barely makes it.

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Rim Ram Ree, Kick him in the knee, Rim Ram Rass, Kick him in the other knee

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

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What did the doctor say to the little boy? Pull down your pants and cough.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard -you throw them.

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penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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