If I had a dollar for every time i got distracted, I want some ice cream

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was the Indian at the casino? He had a gambling addiction.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

" Whats the deal with airline food? " -Sharon

thumb_up thumb_down -23

If i could rearrange the alphabet I wouldn't put U and I together. I'd put my dick in your mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the Chinaman say to the other Chinaman? I dont know, he was speaking in Chinese.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the DVD player say when a video tape was put in? You incompatible.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you confuse a blond? Begin talking to her about a subject that's not in her field of expertise using complicated technical verbiage and jargon.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Your Mommy is a gas pump.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do Ethiopians do at night? Starve.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Two elks were out flying one day. One of the elks turned to the other one and said: - You have a cinnemon bun in your eye. - What? - You have a cinnamon bun in your eye! - WHAT? - YOU HAVE A CINNAMON BUN IN YOUR EYE!!! - I CAN'T HEAR YOU, I HAVE A CINNAMON BUN IN MY EYE!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A dolphin walks into a bar. Dolphins do not have legs therefore this is physically impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How did sarah break her arm? She was in a tragic car accident. An ambulance arrived and quickly rushed her to the hospital where she was cared for by medical professionals.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Wanna hear a joke..... Corey Jacobs Penis!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

whats red and and smells like blue paint red paint

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the spoon say hi to the fork? To initiate a conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

If you see Chuck Norris you should probably tell him hey for me.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How does Helen Keller do her taxes? Unfortunately, she doesn't. Her friends have strongly encouraged her to proactively contact the IRS to see if she can undergo a repayment plan of some sort and obtain governmental assistance for her future filings.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Your Mum's so fat, she's going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's small and harmless, but deadly when thrown at high speeds? A baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Once there was a baby ostrich name Bert. He was the cutest ostrich with those big black beady eyes, fuzzy feathers and funny wobbly baby ostrich walk. I knelt down and as Bert came running towards me as if I were his ostrich father about to protect him from something dangerous. As he got within arm’s reach I punched him so hard he turned into a baby kitten. I decided that Bert was an ...insufficient name for a baby kitten so I said to the purring ball of fuzz “I shall call you Turtle” a kitten named Turtle was a very hilarious conundrum. Things went well for an hour or two and then Turtle decided to pee on my tile floors which infuriated me because everyone knows that cat pee doesn’t come out of carpet! I decided to teach Turtle a football drill called kick the cuddly baby kitten so hard he turns into a koala bear. I sat Turtle on a football tee and suddenly our eyes met and he stared at me with the cutest face a kitten has ever made I took three steps back and turned back towards him. I stared into his big baby kitten eyes and then at a running sprint kicked him as hard as I could into the wall. There was a quiet sound like that of a space shuttle taking off into outer space. As I looked to see where my kick had sent Turtle soaring through the air, I found to my surprise, Turtle had turned into a cute cuddly baby raccoon. I walked across the room and scooped up the adorable baby raccoon. A raccoon named turtle was just too absurd so I decided to give the furry ball of warmth a new and more appropriate name. I stared into his cute raccoon eyes and declared aloud, “I shall call you Dorito!” I rocked Dorito calmly back and forth in my arms until he was fast asleep. A thought then entered my head, how funny would it be to put Dorito into a chip bag? I chuckled aloud and then decided my mind was set. I pulled a chip bag out of my backpack and carefully pulled the bag open and realized I’d been scammed! Inside the bag was a single Dorito chip. I then ate my Doritos.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

what is an antijoke? a type of comedy in which the joke ends in an antivlimax that it is funny in its own right GDS*

thumb_up thumb_down -31

That's a rhetorical question chickens don't cross roads!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's worse than eating brussel sprouts? Getting raped by a brussel sprout.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops