How did the fat woman survive the car accident? She had on her seat belt.

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What is Megan Fox's middle name? Denise

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WUT SMELLS ? my poo

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Why doesn't Gary like me? Because I killed his family and fed them to him.

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What did the man say after falling off a bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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How do you survive the plague? you dont.

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Friend: "Hey man! Did you hear about the kid who bought the last hamster at the pet shop? Other friend: "No..." Friend: "Oh, well he shot himself last night."

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What's the best way to get gum out of your hair? Cancer

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Why was the boy crying? Because his parents were in a car crash and died and his grandparents were already dead and he got cancer for christmas. And he had no testicles

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, , /^\ ___ /^\_/ `...' /` ,__\ ,' ~ ( ,___\ ,, ., \ \___ \\\ .'.' .-. ) .'.-\\\`.`. '.-. ( / (==== ."". ( o ) \ ,/u `~~~'| / `-' ) "")^u ^u^|~| `""". ~_ / /^u ^u ^\~\ ". \\ _ /u^ u ^u ~\ ". \\ ( \ )^ ^U ^U ^U\~\ ". \\ (_ (\ /^U ^ ^U ^U ~| ". `\ (_ _ \ )U ^ U^ ^U ^|~| ". `\. (_ = _(\ \^ U ^U ^ U^ ~| ".`.; (_ -( _\_)U ^ ^ U^ ^|~| "" (_ = ( ^ U^ U^ ^ U ~| (_ - ( ~ = ^ U ^U U ^|~/ (_ = (_^U^ ^ U^ U / (_- ~_(/ \^ U^ ^U^," (_ = _/ |^ u^u." (_ (/ |u^ u.( (__/ )^u^ u/ /u^ u^( |^ u^ u/ |u^ u^( ____ |^u^ u( .-' `-, \^u ^ \ / ' .---. \ \^ u^u\ | ' ` ; | \u^u^u:` . `-' ; | `-.^ u`._ _.'^'./ "-.^.-```_=~._/ `"------"' Seahorse

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What did the person with down syndrome do? He mumbled for a while, chewed on his thumb, fell flat on his face, and died.

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A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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Yo' momma's so fat, she has an increased risk of cardiovascula disease and may die.

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Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says to the other: "Maybe we should rethink our ways of life and realize why animals are on this planet"

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Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees - have nothing at all in common.

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Q: What do you call a Muslim controlling a plane? A: A pilot.

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'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

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How did the Jewish husband and wife stay together forever? They didn't. They ended up in divorce like 50% of all other married couples due to irreconcilable differences.

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Whats sad about 4 blacks riding of a cliff in a cadilac. It was a rental.

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how long does it take for a black woman to poop? women dont poop, especially not halle berry

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why was the boy not feeling well? He swallowed a piano.

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How do you make an anti joke? You ask a question that could have a presumably amusing answer, but make the joke less amusing by stating an obvious answer, therefore completely bamboozling the victim of the anti joke, and making you seem like a man that has a lot of common sense.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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