- Anti Joke

Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

How can a man go 8 days without sleeping? Sleep at night.

What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

Q: What did the chicken cross the road? A: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" is a common riddle or joke in several languages. The answer or punchline is: "To get to the other side." The riddle is an example of anti-humor, in that the curious setup of the joke leads the listener to expect a traditional punchline, but they are instead given a simple statement of fact. "Why did the chicken cross the road?" has become largely iconic as an exemplary generic joke to which most people know the answer, and has been repeated and changed numerous times.

What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

how do you kill a blond? there are many ways but every one of them is illegal and could be criminally chargeable.

Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

I am going to school I live in Ohio, but I'm at Germany How do I do it? I'm a blonde, nobody knows

What do you call a Mexican that crossed the border. An Illegal Immigrant.

What did billy get after sex? Herpes

How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot

What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken