Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

what is green and has wheels grass i lied about the wheels

What's black, white, and red all over? And interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

Why is Sophie incapable of Lifeguarding correctly? Because she only has limited use of all of her senses , especially hearing,

A fish walks into a bar. He proceeds to talk the bartender. "Blub blub blub" The fish sitting next to him whispers to the bartender. "What is he talking about." The bartender shrugs.

Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

Where did tommy go during the bomb? Everywhere. he was a cripple and couldnt make it to the bomb shelter.

Yo' momma so fat she buys clothingthat is bigger than most other people's clothing

why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

What do you call a woman when you're inside her? Mom.

What did the doctor say to his patient with cancer? "You have cancer...".

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

why was the woman silent? she lost the ability to speak in a tragic boating accident in which her vocals chords were damaged thus making it incapable for her to utter anything

What did the black boy wear for Halloween? A costume.

Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,All you HATERS of J. Bieber, Go suck your MOTHER.

As he stood in her front yard with a boombox in the pouring rain, she leaned her head out the window with a smile and he was electrocuted.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van.

What did one ginger say to the other We have red hair

Q: How do you keep an idiot in suspense? A:

A black man has a woman up against a wall, and she is screaming. they are passionate lovers and he is pleasing her greatly.

How do you mess with Hellen Keller? Re-arrange her furniture.

A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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