KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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Why was the black kid at school? Because he wanted to receive an education.

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

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What did the man on the moon say? Nothing. He died because his supply of oxygen ran out.

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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What do you say to a whore with two black guys? How much an hour?

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

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How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

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Rose: Mom, why was I named Rose? Mom: Because when you were born a rose petal landed on your head. Rose: Than why is my brother named Brick? Mom: I liked the name.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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Q: a black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? A: The mexican. They're going to the bookstore to get some books.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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