so a baby seal walks into a club, the bouner immedietly kicks the seal out because it is too young to be in a club and also.....itsa seal

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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One day an irishman walked into a bar. he started to show off his accent when a nicely dressed lady said to him, "are you from ireland?". "AYE" said the irshman. " what part of ireland are you from?" drunk, the irishman replied "uh downtown" then the woman said, " did you come here alone?" then he replied"no i didn't come here a'lone.....DONKEY!!!"

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What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? DAM!

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Q: What does Harry Potter say when he answers the phone? A: "No, she's dead. This is her son."

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Today I went to the grocery store. I purchased milk, eggs, orange juice, and my favorite breakfast cereal for $18.73. I subsequently got into my sedan and drove home.

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What happened to the boy who crossed the road without looking both ways? He was abducted by aliens.

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What do you get if you put 2 Korea, 2 Europeans and 2 North Americans together? TSM

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a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

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The Chicken was crossing the road one afternoon, he was fined by a police officer for J walking He made it to the other side.

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daughter and boyfriend havin sex baby baby baby ohhh!! mum walks in; what you doin signin to justin bieber,oh ok just make sure you dont sing to his song its crap!!!!!!!

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Where did the girl go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Why did the fat kid rob a pizza shop? Because he happened to like pizza.

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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Why did the kid get beaten up? -he was gay

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A woman walks up to a man in a supermarket and asks him where she can find the potatos. He says "I think they are all the way at the end on aisle 3" "Thanks" she says. Then she gets to aisle 3, and there aint no potatos!!!!

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what did the doctor say to the wery fat man? you have diabetes

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A man walks into a doctors office He has AIDS

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What's blue and invisible ? Nothing.... Its impossible to be iinvisible and a color

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

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"Is this the Krusty Krab ?" I'M TIRED OF YOUR SHIT TYRONE.

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what's worse than stubbing your toe on cement being a Jew during the holcaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops