How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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a. why? b. because I wanted

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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kkkk

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Do you want to hear a joke?!?!?!?!?!?! A happy orphan

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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Mike lost his arms in a car accident. Knock knock Who's there? Not Mike.

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

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Q:whats the wost thing that can happen to you when you find something? A:not finding something

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How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

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Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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