You remind me of something What? Monday Why? Nobody likes you

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If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting c- Moo

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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What would you call Shaquille O'Neal if he was on the moon? Shaquille O'Neal, or any nickname you may have for him.

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Why did jack fall off a cliff? Coz the hill was on a cliff.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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Why did the room go dark? Somebody turned the lights off

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There were 2 strawberries sitting in a bathtub One strawberry said "Hey can you please pass the soap? The other strawberry replies "WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM A TYPEWRITER??"

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Haha, I get it..

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Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

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Why didn't the boy get a bike for christmas? He broke the bath tub.

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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A man walks into a bar And compliments the bartender for his great service

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Když si to Nikolas ,dejme tomu že Bihary, you know nuseng.. hahahahaha

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-Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? -She had no arms. -Knock, knock. Who's there? -Not Sally.

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What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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what did joe eat for breakfast? he didn't eat, joe is schizophrenic steve's best friend

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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what did one paper football say to the other? did you get flicked off too.

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What do democrats and fire have in common? They both do damage

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What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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