Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sky diving? I don't know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

A white guy and a black guy are sitting in a bar. The white guy apologizes to the black guy for the hundreds of years of slavery endured by his people.

What did the Nazi Death Camp Guard say to the escaping prisoner? - Nothing. He shot him in his face.

Roses are red Violets are blue This is a poem The End

What do you call a black man playing a bass guitar? A bassist.

A man once had a monkey, and it made him very happy. then one day, his monkey ran away. So the man was very sad and screamed, "I knew i should have broken the monkey's legs!!"

what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

Dumb

They say laughter is the best medicine but i've always found it hard to laugh at cancer.

Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

What is worse than catching someone trying to cheat by looking at your exam? Getting struck by lightning.

A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

John has 5 brownies, 3 chocolate bars, and 62 cookies. What does John have now? Diabetes, John has Diabetes

toby limbers is gonna follow in his uncles footsteps, the gay ones

roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than Nickelback? Nothing. -Win G.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

Why are rich people usually fat? They're living large

A father and his son get into an accident and are whisked away to the hospital. The father dies, and the son is brought into surgery. The doctor is rushed in, but looks at the boy and says "I can operate on this boy, his my son." How is this possible? The boy's father was a zombie.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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