What did the waiter say to an overweight customer? May I take your order?

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My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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Why did the boy fall over? Because he broke his leg. Why did the second boy fall over? Because he was having a seizure.

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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If u give brandon a stick he will most likely poke u

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Why did the homeless man decide it was time to get off the streets? He wanted to save face.

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Haikus are lovely But sometimes do not make sense Refrigerator

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and wasting you money

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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Who row's? •Liam Findlay

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A man walks into a bar and says, "I'll take a drink."

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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Yo momma is so stupid, she is in rehab and will unlikely get over her mental illness leading to her soon and fatal death.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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What do a Jew and a whale have in common? They're both Jewish. Except the whale.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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Polly went out for a fag. Then she was raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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