Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

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What do communists and strawberries have in common? You can eat them.

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What can bankrupt people buy? Free stuff.

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

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What do you call a duck who votes democrat? A duck

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Why did the sailor fall off the boat? Because vampires arent real.

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I have a dirty joke. Poop.

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If a bunch of midgets do the wave, is it a ripple ?

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A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

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What did the sad orphan with liver cancer get for Christmas? Pictures of dead babies to put things in perspective.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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Whats worse then Justin Bieber? It's a trick question, there's is nothing worse than her

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Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

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Joesph Triphook.

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Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

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A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

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How do you make a dog say meow? Freeze it and put it through a woodchipper. (MEROWRRRR)

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What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

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What is similar between a horse and a zebra? - If you chopped of there heads, they would die.

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when life gives you lemons you make lemonade when life gives you a homisidle brige you clearly have done something to make life angery

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Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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