How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

A: What Santa said when he caught Mrs. Claus with one of his elves... Q: What is "Ho ho ho?"

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

What's going to happen you? Your going to die just like everyone else in the world. Don't laugh, it's not funny

Why did the girl commit suicide? She got raped

roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers but at least i do not have Alzheimers

Joke below was made by Daniel Textor, he's a d i c k.

What do you call it when you eat cheese that's not yours? Stealing.

what happened to the girl that didn't forward the threatening chain text to ten people? nothing.

Vagina (Note: If you are gay just move on by.)

Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

You know what's funny? A well told joke

Why did the little girlbnot wake up? Because her mother smothered her in her sleep.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The grass is always greener on the other side.

Why was the woman on video chat? She was videochatting with her husband, he was out of town.

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

hi im tom. whats your name? joe. hi im tom. whats your name? joe... tom has short term memory loss.

Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...