A black man and a white man were on an island. They lived in England.

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How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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why was justin sad? his family was murdered

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What's red and fun to drink through a bendy straw? Period blood

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what did one deer say to the other? nothing, he was shot during hunting season.

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How do you get to pigs in a pen? Move them.

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Why did Sally fall off a tree? The tree was a man wearing a tree costume and was sexually assaulting her with his branches. Sally fell off because the cops came and the man threw her down. The tree man is still on the loose. If you have any info please call crime stoppers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? I could explain officer. You see, I was jogging and I was looking for my dog and she went on to me and I told her to stop but she wouldn't listen. I'm innocent I tell you! Innocent!

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What do you call a baby with no arms or legs? You call a lawyer, and be sure to have him ask the mother if she took Thalidomide during pregnancy.

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Knock Knock Whos there? John John Who Tic Tic BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM

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1+2 = 6

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What is Godzilla's favorite sport? Nothing, Godzilla is a fictional character.

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? Everywhere

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Why did the child cry? His sister just left for college

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are white And Pansies hold hands and skip

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why couldn't three people walk? they were a part of the human centipede.

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Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

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Roses are red Violets are black Why is your chest as flat as your back?

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What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a BMW in my garage.

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Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

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what did one mute say to the other? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops