Why do women live longer? Because they work weaker.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I lied, it was a goat.

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What did the man with a cold say when a jew walked into a bar? Hahaha you walked into a bar. What did the man with a cold say when a jew walked into a pub? AHH-JOOOOO!!!

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what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

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shirt and blue, i call this one snow white, to score and seven years a jo, six samurai kageki, coral, 50 piece, specific frame, whats with that one, amy, hoption, smell my butt, smell my balls, smell my fart, smell my poop, urgay, pringles,

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You no what the biggest lie in history is? Agreeing to the terms and services whenever you sign up for a website

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why cant ben cry, because i gorged his eyes out with a popsickle stick.....

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In Soviet Russia, the same thing that happens here, happens there.

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What happened to the twins? 9/11

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Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

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There were three men named manner, poop, and shut up. they all were mad fun of in middle school and ended up hating their parents for giving them such retarded names.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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Why did the room go dark? Somebody turned the lights off

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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What do fruits and computers have in common. Microsoft.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Communism

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What did the black man do for his science project Which is better homemade or colonel sanders?

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old people are like slinkies...they arent really good for anything but brings a smile to ur face when they're pushed down the stairs...just think about it ;)

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there are three women witch one is married? the one with the ring on its finger

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was a recovering alcoholic who recently relapsed and drove his car through his garage. He took his anger out on his wife and kids. His wife kicked him out and filed for divorce. Conveniently, the liquor store is across the street.

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Chuck Norris got hit by a train. It was a very bloody and sad incident and he will be missed.

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What's brown and sticky? My ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops