What do you call it when a black man and a Mexican open up a fast-food restaurant together? A joint venture.

What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

What did the pig do when the farmer died? He just stood there cause pigs are stupid.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, your mother has AIDS.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

I'm an old man with Alzheimer's. Ok I'm going to tell you a little story. Well i was walking down the road bout 36 sum odd years ago and the next thing i knew i was........... Hmmm.... i wonder whats in the fridge...

What did the frog say when he heard his family was dead? "ribbit"

What do you a badass who not a badass. Grant Lousbury.

Your mother is so ugly that I removed her from my friends list on Facebook.

What do you call a black guy that has a big white coat, an assortment of knives and a couple of women working for him? A doctor

There was an Englishman a Welshman and a Scotsman, all of whom were nationals of the United Kingdom.

a terrorist walks into a bank and says "gimme all the money or ill kill you" the bank owner said you and what army the terrorist said this army and no one came in buuuut he opened hi jacket and there was a bomb straped to him then he exploded it Buuuuuuut in hell he thinks hang on a minute i didn't get my money oh for goodness sake Buuuuuuuuuuut in heaven the bank man said i still live in a wonderfull place and anywhay we had no money left and i was going to suiside soooooooooooooooooooooooo you done me a favour and if i would of suiside i could of gone to hell but you killed me so i edidnt go to hell buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut you did lol by the way i just wasted your time

What's worse then one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse then two bee stings? The Holocaust . What worse then the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

Two construction workers are working on the final floor of what will soon be the worlds tallest building. The first turns to the other and says: "Hey tom can you throw me a three quarters hex wrench? i think my set is metric." the second guy turns around and says: "yea, here you go."

all hail based mark

What do you call a man with a knife in his back? An ambulance

why do fat people eat so much? who cares

there was a black man n a white man they went into a hauted house the black man saw a penut butter slice n tryed to eat it then the ghost said dont eat the penut butter slice so the black man ran away so then the white man came and saw the penut butter slice the white man toke a bite then the ghots said i told u once i told you 2 i wipe my ass with that penut butter slice

An Irishman walks out of a pub. Just kidding.

On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown how angry are you?

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Invisible Children Foundation.

Did you hear about the guy who got his whole left side cut off? Now he is dead..