Why did Jimy fell down the stairs, because he was adopted.

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What did Shaggy say to Scooby before they got in the Mystery Machine? Scooby, get in the Mystery Machine.

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I enjoy Popcorn

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How do you kill somebody? A: I don't know, I'm not a murderer.

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I am hot he is not can you beleive it I got shot

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Q. What's rare, horny, and a myth towards most guys who have never seen one? A. A Unicorn.

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What' worse than random Holocaust jokes? The Holocaust

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

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what did the monitor say to the boy? Im a Monitor

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Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

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What is funnier than Miley Cirus getting a Record Album? Justin Bieber's voice.

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Why did the feminist complain? that's what they do

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey, I just met you

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A homosexual and a heterosexual bump into each other on the street. But its okay, because although they both lead very different lifestyles, they are open minded enough to respect each others choices and both apologize and keep walking.

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what is green and has weels? grass i was kidding about the weels.

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Who took the cookie from the cookie jar? Your mom

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A Palestinian woman walks into a library. She is promptly stoned to death.

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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what does a human and a bucket of red paint have in common? . . Both are not tigers

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja

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Why did Visellet stop eating cherries? Because she choked on a pit and died.

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Why did the Indian have a hard time getting a hotel room? He didn't. He owned the hotel.

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your momma's so stupid, she starved to death in a supermarket i probably would too...considering all the good shit needs to be cooked

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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