kill yourself....with a cigarette

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A man walks into a bar, asks the bartender for a beer. Bartender says, "That'll be $3.50." Man says,"The joke maker did not explain monetary transactions."

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Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

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Little Anny fell on a sidewalk. Why isn't she crying? 'Cause I've thrown her out off the tenth floor.

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How do you know when a Captcha defect causes you to post the same anti-joke three times? Canteloupe.

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What did the mexican do when 3 INS workers came to his house? He showed them his papers and it turns out he was a natural born US citizen. The mexican then proceeded to invite the INS into his home for a cup of coffee but they respectfully declined

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Oh you have herpes? yeah, there's an app for that.

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What's did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she is dead.

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why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

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Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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What did the cheerleader get for christmas? Money, because she's a stupid w hore

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whats red and smells like cherries red cherries

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

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Why did simran go over to maliyah and emma and andrea and alice and amanda and Every other fat ugly chicks house? Cause he cant fu*k anybody else!!!!!

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Why didn't the chicken not get across the road? Cause it's head got shot off by some drunk asshole

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Why didn't the little boy have a good time at his birthday party? Because his friends lit him on fire.

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So, a Vulcan walks into a bar... and he doesn't say anything, because Vulcan's suppress their emotions.

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A man walks into an oven. He suffers severe burns and dies on a hospital bed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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