Person 1 - Have you heard about the movie about constipation? Person 2 - No. Person 1 - It hasn't come out yet

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What happened when the Asain woman got in her car? A speeding drunk driver hit her and now she is paralyzed from the neck down.. Its a tragic story

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Why couldn't Little Johnny read his 3rd grade novel? His was repeatedly stabbed in his eyes.

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What did Helen Keller say to her friend? Nothing. If you didn't know, she was deaf and blind so she had to use Sign Language.

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Why didn't the Mother packed her son's lunch? Because her son Timmy likes to go to the canteen

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What's worse than one cat stuck in a tree? Getting raped

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Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

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Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

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why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

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What do you get when a black man crosses a white man on the street? A black man and a white man on the street..

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Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

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Who gave Miley Cyrus her new haircut? Hellen Keller

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There was a boy named Johnson. He was a happy boy who had a mother and father who loved. One day he didn't do his homework

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Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

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What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The black man is alive.

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Why did Hitler kill himself He saw his gas bill

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a giraffe walks into a bakery, "can I have 101 brown loafs please?" the baker answers: "hmm I've got only 100 loafs is that ok too?" the giraffe says: "why the hell would I need a 100 loafs?!"

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What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

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Why did the mother stop breastfeeding her son? Because he was twenty five.

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why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

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knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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