I always like to pack a second pair of pants, because if there's one thing my mother ever said to me it was 'please, I'm begging you - don't put me in a home.'

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the dinosaurs die out? This is a long and debated subject, and as no one was alive back then and no solid evidence has been found to support any theories we can only wait.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coast of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The Morman Religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the hobo break both of his arms? He didn't like them.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's black, white, and red all over? An African American and Caucasian man painting a house with red paint and accidentally spilling some on themselves

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is meant by the term 'Biological control''? Not ending up on the Jeremy Kyle Show.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than Bogans? Boat people.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats small and blue? a suffocated baby

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Joker: Why so serious Man: My mom and dad just got hit by a car, and you just stabbed my friend in the face with a pencil. Joker: Oh well im sorry to hear that.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why don't Batman go to an Ozzy Osbourne concert? Because Batman doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do women and men have in common? nothing, women are inferior

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the little girl crying? She got raped by a giant scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats grosser then gross? A dead puppy in a barrel. Whats grosser the a dead puppy in a barrel? A dead puppy in two barrels. Created by : go josh or ty :D

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are gay, Violets are gay, I am gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Kevin stinks signed Taggart. Is this how you do it!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops