What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

thumb_up thumb_down +33

why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he got shot. Q. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he was stapled to the first monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock knock Who's there? The bank. We've come to evict you from your house.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock Knock. Who's there? William. William who? You friend...William...you invited me over.. Can I come in?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Mike and Richard were walking down the street together Richard left because of Mike's garlic breath

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +29

noah is a scrub jungle

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A new scientific study has scientists baffled as it clearly shows that teen sex drastically decreases at age 20.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whats worse than having cancer? Nothing....

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why'd the black man smell awful... Because he hadn't showered in multiple days

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did Quinn yell at his group project partner? Because he hated him.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Exercise Ex - Er - Cise Ex - Ar - Size.. Eggs Are Sides For bacon.. BACON

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops