What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

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I like my women how I like my coffee; without a penis.

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

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Why did Jonny commit suicide? Airplanes dont have feet.

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what's the easiest way to tell time? a clock

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Did you hear about the Mexican boy scout that helped that old lady cross the border.

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catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

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what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

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Why did the black guy not tip his pizza driver? Because he didn't order pizza.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

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Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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your mother is so fat that she probably watches her calorie intake every day

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Why could the red heading boy sing higher notes than the blonde headed boy? He was castrated at birth.

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The once was a little girl named Suzy who liked swings; the only trouble was that she had no arms. In order to avoid having any jokes written (and recycled thousands of times) about this fact, she decided to run a sponsored marathon in order to pay for prosthetic arms. Suzy swung happily for the rest of her days. [L]

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit on the way there.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken so he could fry it.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

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what did the homeless kid get for christmas? nothing he probably doesn't know what christmas is

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Why are rich guys gay? Because they can afford to be

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Your momma is so black that she probably has ancestors indigenous to Africa.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops